Oki has been with us for two months, I can’t believe how time flies and he is such a big boy now! The Rooba has been coming out to do its job, I’m looking at Oki with amaze of how he’s doing well with it roaming around. He is in his pen, observing but didn’t make any sound or shows fear. Although, I’m mad with him biting sometimes, he is still a good puppy. Our puppy that significant to my marriage, my relationship with Hunny. We share a lot of the “first time”, and having Oki is part of it.
one of those days
That was one of those days I became sad and depressed. Negative thought was rushing in my mind like a tornado, I could only go down with it. Sometimes I wonder where is God in all these? I didn’t doubt His existence, but I’m wondering what He’s thinking? We’ve been missing in action, church wise …. What does He think of us? I really don’t know anymore….
A month has passed
Oki is home a little more than a month now, I think he’s adapting well. We missed his second booster shot and third is also due already. He’ll be meeting the vet this Sat, hopefully we’ll have a good time. Lately, the weather is getting better, more light and more sunshine, Oki just wants to get out. We’ve been training him to use the potty bell, but seems like he rings it whenever he wants to go out there sniff around. At least there’s no accident after the first two weeks. I’ve been consistent taking him out for potty and only let him out after potty.
I tried not to lose my temper with him, it’s getting a little better especially I let him follow me around. He’s still a puppy though, he still nips at us sometimes. I hope to take him out for walk after he gets all the booster shots. I know he’ll be happy to get out there to explore the world 🙂
Miracle
The Lord provided what we needed. As I’m such a little faith I always worried that we’ll not be able to afford mortgage and will lose our home. Somehow the thoughts of preparing for the worse always stick with me. I’ve never doubt Hubby’s ability, how he’s capable to do great thing for his work place. I’ve never worried that he won’t get a job or offer, because I know how much he’s capable to do.
Besides, there’s an offer from a firm in Surrey, Mr.N is trying to match the offer so that Hubby will stay. I’m happy for him, knowing that God never cease to amaze us. It’s a miracle that Hubby got a salary raise and he got to stay longer in the current work place. God is good! I’m thankful!
I wonder if I go out there to find a job, who will take me ? I experienced the worst work place ever in my life, however, I wonder if I will ever get a better work place. I lost my faith in people, the world out there seems scary to me. Lately, I’ve been thinking if I still want to study or work. Even with studying, I wonder if I still want to go for counselling, or theology. Something to think about ….
2+ week
I can’t believe it’s only been two weeks since Oki came home. We’ve been happy, angry, sad, and frustrated all these times. Our life has been changed upside down for the good. This little doggy is growing so fast that I need to constantly remind myself to be patient with him.
:(
Oki was in his playpen chewing his bone, and all of the sudden he started to rip the newspaper. Being a clean freak, I went in to clean up the mess. He kept ripping the newspaper and bit me. I was angry and stomp the floor. That must have startled him somehow. Then I stomped the floor while I walked away, he barked once and then quiet…. what did I do wrong?
This Morning
I see the change in your eyes when I look at you. You are tired and probably stress without telling me. The Hunny that I’ve known for so long isn’t the same anymore. It’s not a bad/good change, but rather a heavy burden sitting on your shoulder that made me sad. I blame myself not being able to go out to work. I blame myself for spending so much money. I blame myself not sharing your burden. I can’t even tell if you are enjoying our new puppy due to so much going on. I really really want to help…. I do…
Day 3
I wonder if I should leave Oki in his playpen all the time. Today I put him in the playpen twice and each time when he came out I would let him go to the yard. Being his curious self, Oki found something to eat and play at the very back of the yard, I’m a little worried since I’m not sure what he’s eating. So I tried to put him on the leash but he didn’t want to walk. Another time I kept the harness on without the leash, he would just roaming around. When he came back in the house, he became a little aggressive when he played with me. I didn’t understand until he pee on the floor. I remember he didn’t pee the last time he went out, but I thought I could catch the timing if ever he needs to go….
I felt like a failure when I saw him pee on the floor. I’m thinking “I suck”. Now he’s sleeping in his playpen. I wonder if he was being grumpy because of holding the pee and feeling sleepy at the same time.
Meeting Oki
Today we drove an hour to the ferry, and spent two hours on the ferry, then another one and a half hours to the dog trainer, Karen. We finally got the trainer and met Oki the first time. We instantly fell in love with this little guy. The ride back was fine since Oki almost slept all the way back to home. He whine a little when we put him in the crate to sleep for the night though.
Meeting Mr. Albert
Today I went to the clinic to learn some technique which can help me to overcome my stress and anxiety. I found that very interesting and helpful. By the end of the session I felt silly that I believe what I believe. Hopefully I’ll continue to practice this exercise so the truth of God may come and root deeply in my heart.