唔開心

Uncategorized

I don’t really know what happened this morning. I think I was confused. At one point I asked if hunny wanted coffee and breakie and she said yes. I made breakfast and all of a sudden hunny was unhappy. I found out that her lower back was hurting but somehow the conversation turned into how I go into work late in the morning. Later she explained that she thought I had class so it would be better if I went to work earlier and would get home earlier. I have clarified that I don’t have a class tonight. Then that conversation has remained stuck in taking about me going into work late.

Then I was going to write to Mr. N to let him know I wasn’t coming into work so I could be with hunny and go to see Florie with her. She wouldn’t let me.

I am still confused. I think I have been trying to make an effort to not be a workaholic. Hunny wasn’t happy about me having to lock up once in a while. I know I don’t have to, and I can probably leave at 4:45 everyday to avoid having to lock up, but isn’t that taking it to an extreme? I don’t understand why locking up once in a while is a problem… It’s just a part of being an office staff.

But then again, may be I am upset because I can’t find a balance between the two. I don’t want to be an absent husband, and I don’t want to be a workaholic. I pray that God can help me find the balance.

the forgotten one

Life stuffs, Sore spots

Yesterday I was supposed to meet Miss K and Miss A in Miss L’s place. It was toward 5pm and I didn’t really want to go because I wasn’t feeling well. I had decided to go nonetheless because I wanted to try to connect with people. Hunny was almost home to pick me up to go there, I was all ready… except it was 5pm already so I texted Miss K that I would be late. It turned out they cancelled the dinner, and again…. I wasn’t informed

Talking about the forgotten one, I wonder why it  is me… I wouldn’t say “always”, but it happened before. I have a pretty good guess now and I think I figure it out somehow. Probably I’m not weighted as important as other people, not gonna compare but I think it’s just a fact. I found myself this time more at ease in heart, somehow I kinda expected.

God certainly will never forget me, I’m sure… very sure because He love is greater than anything/anyone.

dream….

Life stuffs, Spirituality

So I have dreams again lately, and last night was about Mr. C & Miss W. I saw that I was in Hunny’s car and they were beside me. They were riding on a motorcycle and Miss W came by my window to say hi. The red light was gone and green light came on, so we were about moving. Indeed we were moving but Miss W didn’t let go off our car window. Meanwhile I saw Mr. C was getting anxious to go and kept asking Miss W to go back. He was about getting roll as we were also slowly going…. all the sudden Mr. C fell off his bike; however, Miss W was only watching and didn’t go over to help him up. I was puzzled in my dream as of why didn’t Miss W show any care when her husband fell on the ground… I should discuss with Hunny later.

meeting Miss K

Life stuffs

I went to visit Miss K today and we talked a lot of different stuffs. I told her that I appreciated how she didn’t give up on me and continue to contact me. We gave each other our life updates and I expressed my grudges which occurs after the incident. Where at last BBQ I invited myself to go but no one informed me the time… and her initial response when I invited myself…. anyways… it’s all good now

有些事

Life stuffs, Sore spots

有些事心裡明白了，心情也釋放了。想起過去有一個人，一次又一次沒有把我包括在她的活動中。現在我明白我其實已經被放在好朋友的圈子外。也許現在不是難過 而是覺得心情釋放了。我不用在想要怎樣維持一個不現實的關係。

真心覺得年紀大了 就會多想。就算是昨天好像已經把話說開，我覺得關係中還是由疙瘩。或許是我自己無法像以前一樣地天真，那麼多的包容 忍耐。我變了…. 但不是我想要的 我。

Meeting up old friend

Life stuffs, Sore spots

Hubby decided to contact Miss L for me. We met today at lunch and had a long chat. I felt that we definitely clear things up, but I wonder if this will last long. I mean I’m still a little guilty not inviting her to our wedding. We did talked about it… but… I dunno.

I told her everything that I experienced in that place, and she expressed that she understood being that she worked there for more than a decade. She also told me how much she appreciated Hubby and I had done in that place. I mean…. it’s nice to literally hear that from someone saying it.

I felt relief that I can tell someone, or Miss L what I went through there. I don’t need to hide it (my feelings, resentment, all that…) anymore in being afraid I’m judging those elders.

I’m thankful for the Lord is among us!

I pray for God’s healing upon my body and my mind, amen.

ups and downs

Health & Wellness, Psych stuffs

There are times I feel that my physical and psychological condition are going ups and downs. Maybe it’s this monthly time again, I feel very emotional these two days. I feel a little depressed and I’m not sleeping well. I guess doing some exercise will help my sleep at night….

Will I ever get better and be normal again? I’m not sure if I ever know what normal is….

dreams – Bible stories

Life stuffs, Spirituality

I dreamt of talking to an elderly women who seems to be a missionary and other pastor around in the same room. We had a conversation on how much I know the Bible stories. I told her I remember 登山變像 and Peter’s fisherman of men… there’s supposedly one more story, but I forgot when I got up…

Very interesting … maybe time to read the Bible again?

naturopathic visit – parasites

Health & Wellness, Life stuffs

It seems that blood circulation and hormone balance are getting better. However, my digestive system is very weak, and Dr. F found out that I have parasites. From my research this morning, having parasites might be affecting my digestive system as well. I would say I have 8 out of 10 from the list below >_<

10 Signs You May Have a Parasite

  1. You have unexplained constipation, diarrhea, gas, or other symptoms of IBS
  2. You traveled internationally and remember getting traveler’s diarrhea while abroad
  3. You have a history of food poisoning and your digestion has not been the same since.
  4. You have trouble falling asleep, or you wake up multiple times during the night.
  5. You get skin irritations or unexplained rashes, hives, rosacea or eczema.
  6. You grind your teeth in your sleep.
  7. You have pain or aching in your muscles or joints.
  8. You experience fatigue, exhaustion, depression, or frequent feelings of apathy.
  9. You never feel satisfied or full after your meals.
  10. You’ve been diagnosed with iron-deficiency anemia.