Category Archives: Spirituality

繼續禱告

今天大姐約我上去喝咖啡聊天. 感謝主透過這次談話當中給了我一些啟發.  她將要開業的公司需要admin上的幫忙,她也邀請我幫她做parttime。 這個九月將要到Kwantlen 讀 CCLS, 我說讓我讀完再看看我工作方向是什麼。我害怕說英文,交際,大姐告訴我說其實每個女生都有這樣的經歷。

要勇敢,要大膽踏出去是我今天最印象深刻的message … 最重要是知道神的心意,她說 making mistakes aren’t commiting sins. 不是每次做錯事就是犯罪。這是她從 38歲那年第一次出來工作時,神給她的話. 每天都是新的一天,縱然犯錯但不是犯罪. 她也告訴我她如何決定從一份工作到另外一份工作,到最後決定自己創業。 一步一步都需要不斷地禱告,尋求神的話語和力量。

她也問到我們想不想生小孩. 我告訴她我的憂慮來自於我媽媽對我的期望. 她對我哥的失望,轉移到我身上 希望我貢獻社會的種種說法. 大姐提醒我,媽媽 還沒有信主,她的心意不見得是神的心意。我結婚了,就應當跟我丈夫二人共同設計未來. 也就是說我們的未來,什麼時候生小孩,要不要工作,應該我們自己兩個來決定。她這樣一說,我的focus 確實又轉移回來到神的身上了。 因為見到媽媽的傷心,我想要討好她,卻忘記神託付給我的也許不是我媽媽想的那樣。

嗯,我知道了~ 繼續禱告! 讓神的話語來帶領我們!

人生功課

人生每一個階段,都會學習到一些功課。當初以為禱告了,就是神的心意,就做出了一些決定。其實,有沒有把細節想清楚呢~ 對於我的另一半,我採取放任,因為我相信他自己也會尋求神。 當事情發生的時候,我第一個想法不是到底他有沒有禱告清楚,而是現在我們該如何處理現實的狀況。也許人生就是這樣,跌跌撞撞,在這路上繼續經歷上帝的恩典。 又或許這時候看清楚所謂朋友的真面目。我和 Mr.L 都是小心翼翼做事的人,話說回來我們有一點很像,就是我們都沒有太大的野心,做事時不是用衝的,而是小心走每一步。凡事有兩面,我們這樣有好也有不好。但是我這個容易緊張的人,卻覺得慢慢走比較好。若是抓到時機,心中有極大的確據,我相信心中的平安會讓我去衝。

上帝,我們把公司交給祢。要繼續,要收手,求主給我們智慧。若有什麼需要說清楚的,求主把平安放在我們跟合作夥伴的心裡。不要讓我們交惡,以致失去這位朋友。主呀~求幫助我們作出合祢心意的決定,把傷害,損失減至最低。謝謝祢在這個時候,讓我們看見這個危機。願祢掌管在我們當中,阿門。

 

學校

最近一直夢到上學的情景

昨晚我夢見我要做 presentation,竟然站在教室前面支支吾吾的說不出來

而且,一直看我的note, 想不起來我要說什麼呢~

另外一個情景,大家在教室外等開門

進去後馬上找個合適的位子寫考試

通常考試我都喜歡坐在最角落的地方

但是這次位子都被佔滿,我只好坐在教室中間的位子

非常有壓迫感,打開考卷時又是腦袋空白不知道 要寫什麼

紅筆

昨晚做了一個夢。夢見拿回來的考卷上的第一題,老師用紅筆圈起我的答案 並寫 “worst” 。接下來的那幾頁也不用說了,就是通通是紅色的圈。還有寫一段,“這位學生如果不好好加強英語能力的話 就別想要大學畢業了!” 我醒來的時候,心想我的英語真的那麼糟糕嗎?怎麼覺得自己就是不夠好,不夠聰明….等等的…. 想法~

你的手

那晚你為我按首禱告來祝福我

我的眼淚不聽話的自己流下

你問我為甚麼哭呢

我說不出來 你已經睡覺了

其實當你按首的時候

我真的感覺到聖靈在我裏面

一種又陌生又熟悉的感覺

我認識祂卻又覺得陌生

因為已經好一陣子不想禱告

我心裡面 有好多怨恨,埋怨

其實你知道嗎?

Encouraged

I felt that God didn’t need me to do much, but only taking one person at a time to love and encourage that person. During my years in university, I spent lots of time giving rides to the international students. I believed that God gave me the car I might as well give it a good use and serve people.

Just Recently, Vivian sent me a message telling me how she still remembers I gave her rides and stuff. She mentions that it gave warmth in her heart to think of me. Since she’s living in a new country just like her first year in university, she has to get used to the environment again. But the thought of me made her remembers that once there was someone cared for her even when she’s in a new place.

Another person whom I still kept in touch and became good friend over the years. We will talk in the phone once in two weeks, it depends if we are busy or what not. Her recent relationship gave her a new perspective in personal growth. But I would say she values my opinion, thought I’m not surprise still very glad. I pray that this relationship will work out and I pray that this guy is whom God designs them to be together. There’s still a lot to work  on in their relationship, but … which one doesn’t? Last night we talked for a bit and I encouraged her to read the book of Proverbs, since she said she needed more wisdom. I told her it is good to read Proverbs to receive the teaching and ask for wisdom. I also suggest that it might be good for her and Mr.Ng to read it together. We’ll see how that goes~ God grants us what we need!

MH 370- Why did god let the plane crash?

People were asking why didn’t God stop this tragedy. Why did he let this happen? We are back to the topic of why God allows pain and suffering again. My initial thoughts came with few questions. Have you ever lied? Have you ever stolen a cookie or two? Have you ever cheated in your exams? Have you ever fought some other kids to get the toy you want? Have you ever lied to get the position that you wanted in your job. Have you ever bad mouth somebody and spread out gossip? So my question is what if God stop you from having the freedom to choose what you wanted to do? Then you’ll say that this God is a cruel, controlling God.

You see we have a false concept of God. When we are in trouble we shout out to God, “Help God! Please help me!” Whatever issue that you might be facing or desperately in needs, you thought of asking God for help. Then you blame God if nothing works, tragedy happens, or your loved ones died from accident. God is not a genie in the bottle where you rub then he appears whenever you want. God is not controlled by you and at the same time He doesn’t control your free will.

Back to the question, why did God let the plane crash? God is not in the business of interrupt the nature. He created the nature that way, and it will stay that way. The nature of human beings crafty, deceitful, loving or compassion…etc. That nature of nature, human fault in making the plane, mistakes in maintain the plane and such. Back to human nature, human are deceitful and evil if men wanted to highjacked the plane for whatever reasons. Should God interrupt in every single detail in this process of nature? Then again, if He does there won’t be evil in the world. Because He dislike evil and will save everything; however, he cannot contradict himself. He cannot interrupt nature because human beings are not happy with what happened in the world today.

That nature of our lives on this earth? There will be suffering and pain. We will die no matter what. Of course you can stay healthy and strong and prolong your life, but you will surely die one day. Everyone of us has no exception. It’s a matter of die early or wait until we die at our old age. Instead of blaming God for what happen in this world today, why don’t we think of our purpose in this world? How about asking ourselves where are we going when we die? Ultimately, our lives are going to an end, and this is not within our control.  Why not spend sometime to understand who this God is? There’s a deep desire to find truth and people are asking question. That question always came back to if God exist why didn’t/did He (do such)……?

I see the void in our souls and that need to be filled in a supernatural way. No money, love or sex in this world can fill this void. A human soul is thirst and longing for someone, or something to satisfy his needs. This is what we need to see, the void in our souls. It’s our human perspective that stop us from seeing the supernatural God. Yet, we human want to be in control. We want to be our own God and so whatever we want. See, we can’t play God. If we do, we’re fooling ourselves. The pride is blinding us, the greed is blinding us, the loneliness, the hurt, the pain…. the list can go on, we are blind in our spirit and we couldn’t see God. Unless, we are willing to be reached by God, God will not force us to believe in Him. Unless, we are seeking the truth, God’s truth will not be heard by the deaf. It’s only the willing hearts will see God. It’s only the humble will meet Him one day.

夢中訊息

許多次我害怕睡覺,因為害怕再次夢見邪惡的事,或是黑暗的事。 我是一個每睡覺就會做夢的人,真讓人覺得疲憊。可是,我也知道上帝會透過夢對我說話。很多次會突然覺得眼前的事好像在夢中見過,但是我只會告訴自己想多了。又很多次,夢得太真實,醒來還記得裡面的內容不得不趕緊禱告尋求神的心意。最近的我很懶散,夢清楚了我還是不怎麼禱告。

前兩個月見到的兩個夢:第一個看見機構裡面沒有坐滿,只有剩下一半的 都是元老級的人,空空的感覺好死氣沈沈。 第二個夢看見在機構裡的人往外走,說他們的教導不正確,偏歪,有異端的嫌疑。

今天跟一位還有去機構聚會的朋友,說起哪裏的人因為有覺得有不正確教導的會眾,拉了兩個小組的人離開。聽了後,不禁地想 “上帝啊!到底是什麼一回事?” 心中有很矛盾的心情。很開心上帝都我說話,但是我不知道應該如何處理這些超自然的訊息。