Category Archives: Spirituality

朋友/Calling

Life stuffs, Spirituality

如果說人生只需要一個朋友的話，我現在就已經有了

可是，為何我還是不滿足？

很多次反覆思考這個問題，我還是沒有答案

心底深處其實明白，我最需要的是上帝

但是每次在FB上看到群組的照片沒有我

或是別人相約一起去台灣旅行

不禁心裡還是想為什麼不邀請我一起去

Maybe this is what hubby was saying “fomo”

Maybe I’ve never walked out that shadow of hurt from previous place.

The fact that I’m not interested in knowing people and building relationships with others, isolated myself even more. I felt like trap in a dark tunnel and never able to get out. I don’t see the end of it, I only feel lonely in this walk.

The breakfast with Eileen this morning got me to think what I really want. We talked about God’s calling in her life, she somehow feels that she’ll only be satisfied if she works in church. We’ve also talked about her friend’s problem, who has false idea of God and how Eileen tries to get her back on track.  Eileen was saying that she might consider go to bible college to further equip herself for ministry. I explained it is a a commitment to spend 2-3 years in bible college, or even going to Mdiv.

Listening to her friend’s problem, my brain started to turn into my theological debate mode. I must say I like it, still today I think I would choose studying theology over counselling. But, what do I studying that for? I don’t want to be a pastor, I don’t even want to talk to people. I know my heart desire to dig deeper in God’s word, but for what ? I’m confused!

 

Christian apologetics

Sore spots, Spirituality

也許是我小氣，把眼光都放在自己身上。我總是想 公義在哪裡？為什麼這樣被對待，情緒上的傷害，話語上的傷害，對方還是被敬重 被放在高處倍奉承？ 我不明白 有誰可以 justify 這樣的事情？因為要 捍衛自己的信仰，所以可以去攻擊別人 （一些根本沒有對她怎樣，沒攻擊她，被罵不還口的人）誰可以告訴我，這是什麼道理？

 

Christian apologetic is not merely making arguments, nor is an excuse to justify one’s act in attacking others spiritually, verbally and emotionally.

夢

Sore spots, Spirituality

昨晚做了一個夢， 夢見朋友昏迷 躺在醫院裡。夢裏感覺她很想有人為她禱告，好像我們的靈互相可以溝通似的。雖然兩人沒有說話，覺得知道她需要被禱告。夢中看見自己站在她床邊拉著她的手禱告，也知道她感覺到被禱告了。 醒來第一件事，問上帝的意思。我想我明白了，靈裡的昏迷必須透過禱告才能得醫治，甦醒！

這陣子跟叮叮講了很多她的事，以及很多看了不順眼的地方。心深處知道要禱告，卻很懶散。做了這個夢，我知道上帝已經給最後通牒，我跑不了。即使我這個人近年來變得很冷漠，但是我不敢違背上帝的心意。特別是祂已經做得很明顯的時候，我知道我必須要跟從。嗯！

it has said……

Life stuffs, Spirituality

My enemy told me that I can’t be successful, I’m not able, I’m not capable. The feelings of being a failure is creeping up on me. I feel helpless, hopeless because I don’t feel adequate. I don’t know if I will be able to handle all the stress from school again. I don’t know if I’m able to handle the stress from doing the internship and practicum.

Today at class, we were supposed to get prepare for recorded interview. Which Elly gave us a list of question to get ready before the interview. She picked one of the question and then asked me to answer. Describe a situation that happened in your work place, which you were able to use persuasion to successfully convince someone to see things your way. I basically froze…. I don’t know…. I can’t even think of any situation like that…. I’m speechless….

Counselor

Dream|Journey, Life stuffs, Spirituality

A compassionate heart looks at other’s brokenness with love and acceptance. There is no judging or criticizing at smaller details, but gaze over to the bigger picture. It is a challenge to dig deeper and ask the right question at the right time.

Seeing Chiang’s family situation, I am urged to listen to their stories. God is stirring up my heart and prepare me for something I have been afraid of doing. Counsellor, I’m afraid to be one because I believe I can’t do it. I somehow believed that I’m not capable to listen, to wrestle with information, and to solve problems.

Now that my heart is stirred, it became restless unless I do something about it….

Mission Statement For Career

Dream|Journey, Life stuffs, Spirituality

I’ve found this statement which I wrote in 2006. I remember I took a career planning course in my last year in Trinity, and the statement is this:

“The mission of people helper,

as a follower of Jesus Christ,

comfort the weary,

counsel the broken heart,

touch the poor and needy;

with passion and compassionate heart,

to serve and empower others,

and to witness the power of gospel

through interactions with one another.”

Crisis

Life stuffs, Sore spots, Spirituality

Spent last two days with W to talk about her marriage crisis. I must say I’m not ready to be a counsellor because I got emotional along as we talked about what’s been going on last few years. Maybe God doesn’t me to solve their problem but walk along with them and support them. I learned that I still need to develop my counselling skills with critical mind, objective and calm.

Talked with K today, we concluded that God must be doing something in their lives. I came to realize that what is happened today fulfilled what I said few years back. I told hubby that in order for them to walk together in ministry, they have to walk side by side with same heart and vision. This powerful ministry came with these two broken people that are willing to be built by God. One cannot walk without another. This has to be done in order to allow God interfere in their lives. Break their pride, selfness, even brokenness from family and past. The time is here, everything will show when the light comes. Nothing can hide anymore, God will reveal all the darkness in us. The deepest root of all sins will be revealed because God is here ready to give surgery to the sickness in heart. The core of all being, these hearts must be renewed, rebuilt, and transform.

夢見荔枝

Life stuffs, Spirituality

昨晚做了一些很有趣的夢. 首先我夢見我跟另外一個人在同一個team. 我們跟其他隊伍比賽，圍繞著一個特定的route 在每一個點要 check in， 然後看哪一隊最快完成。在每一個checkin point 有一個像ipad 的screen 在牆壁上，我們要 yell at the screen 然後拍卡。夢中要不斷地跑，感覺很累！

接下來的夢，我夢見媽媽的手錶在我口袋裡。我嘗試把那個昂貴的手錶帶回加拿大，但是又害怕被抽稅。結果那個夢不了了之～ 接下來媽媽跟我要去一個餐廳吃飯，路上有很多荔枝樹，而且還掉到地上，路上滿滿的荔枝…. 我好想吃呢～ 奇怪夢裡的荔枝樹長得好像矮矮的椰子樹，哈哈， 這個夢真有趣！