Category Archives: Spirituality

Judging

Psych stuffs, Spirituality

Sometimes I’m amazed at how much a person can and will judge another person. For things that don’t go along with one’s idea or flavours, she will judge someone because she’s not satisfied with rejection. Calling out someone being self-centred, she hits her own blind spot with seeing herself as one. The conversation is full of contradictions from beginning to the end. It’s all about herself, how she’s more mature in dealing things, having ideas for doing business, or how she sacrifice herself to do others. I found that it’s all BS when indeed she’s looking for returns of flavours.

Maybe I’m not mad when I heard her judging and complaining someone. Rather, I’m amazed at how sinful we are when we lose sight of God. Was He in the picture when she’s complaining and judging? Was he in the picture when she’s planning her new life for the next six months or so? For sure… I don’t know. He knows and He will definitely show  His heart, in His time.

Hubby and I did mention that we do not want to get into someone business unless we are asked to help. Nor did we want to state our opinion unless we are asked to speak out. There’s time for everything. Meanwhile, have some self-control and live your life like Jesus.

The Idea of Divorce

Dream|Journey, Spirituality

I’ve never thought that I’ll be facing it one day to deal with my friends divorce…. or the idea of divorce. Although, there was time I talked to Mrs.C and spent a long time to talk to her convincing her to see a counsellor. It turned out their relationship is much better today, I’m glad I was there walking with them.

Since yesterday talked to D about her idea of divorce, I still have no clue how to help. It’s funny I’m on the crossroad between going to work or start studying again. Many hints popped up reminding me how lack of skills I am when dealing and counselling with people. Maybe God didn’t need to me earn money? Maybe that’s not His idea for me at this time? I mean seeing my best friend facing divorce today, it hits me harder than dealing with anyone.  I do admit I want to be a better counsellor, a better listener, a better problem solver…

So I guess I have decided now? Are those hints obvious enough for me to pursue education rather than money? humm…..

Hospital Visit

Health & Wellness, Psych stuffs, Spirituality

This morning I left home around 8:30 to take Ding Mama to the hospital for check up. It didn’t take longer than I anticipated since Auntie Amy was there to help. I must be honest that today I experienced many first time. I’ve never push a wheelchair before. I’ve never accompanied any one for a hospital check up before. I’ve never been so positive to cheer up a patient before. I’ve never been so active in helping people to make phone call (speaking english) before.

Today, I’ve experience many first time and I’m thankful I’m there to help.Three of us chatted and talked about many things. I learned that sometimes listening is good enough. I was being assured again that going into the counselling field is suitable to my personality. Although, I didn’t know why Auntie Amy said that. She surely told me that she could feel that I’m a good candidate for studying counselling. She must have sensed/ seen something about me, but I’m not sure what!?

I drove around after the hospital visit to pick up lunch, and also in attempt to pick up the medicine. I came to a conclusion that Ding Mama needs some one to encourage her and listen to her. While we were talking during lunch, she said she felt there was less pain with her legs. There was so much psychological stress for hospital visit, unknown medical condition for her pain, frustration of unable to walk around, the stress is definitely building up within her and magnified the pain. I’m not sure how to explain it, but chatting with her did make her felt better…. she took pain killer at 8:00am and hadn’t taken any when I left around 2:00pm. She told me that for the last few days, she took double dosage of pain killer in every 4 hours. However, the pain eased down today after the hospital visit.

This encourages me that actively listening can bring healing. This encourages me to not giving up to pursue my dream. This encourages me see beyond the listening and talking, when you focus on the patient well being. This encourages me to see what God is doing in my life and in their life. Ding Mama seems to know it’s her time to go, but God still gives her some time because of her mission on earth. She surely was urged by the spirit to preach to me and others that she cares to repent and turn back to God. Though, I’m not fully agree with going to church equals to seeking God. That’s her concept of getting closer to God, I won’t disagree that Christian need community.

Anyways, it’s an interesting day. God definitely is speaking to me and asking me to see a bigger picture as school is going to start in two weeks. I’m thankful~ I’m blessed. The Lord is with us. Amen.

Driving with Him

Dream|Journey, Spirituality

I haven’t been driving a lot in the past few months or even years. I do enjoy driving alone especially now I’m back to my normal self, although, i sometimes still need to tell myself to focus while driving. I used to have many conversation with God while driving, but I don’t recall anything that came true. Maybe I just forgot many things that happened in the past. Today, I clearly heard Him say that I’m called to be a pastor… hummm…. women pastor…. whatttttt??? I immediately thought of Jennifer from LHF, she’s such a genuine person and I think she’s more suitable to be a women pastor. I’ll continue to see what God want me to do…. very interesting conversation today!

Conversation with Miss K

Spirituality

I can’t help but to think of a way to help Miss K to see the current situation she is in. Do I think that she’s being unfair with little N? Yes, I do. Do I believe that she’s projecting her anger and discontentment upon little N? Yes, I do.

I can only ask for wisdom from the Lord and the right timing, if Lord you want me to say anything.

Sunday service

Spirituality

I was quiet down before the Lord during worship. I was enjoying the moment with the Lord. All of the sudden, the word of the Lord came to me. I didn’t expect to receive such message and I was surprised. It has been a while that I thought of the elders, the Jung’s. The Lord told me that the judgement has come upon them even when they’re on earth. Even the young and the old will be judge and they will see all the deeds they’ve done onto others. The Lord will bring judgement on their heart and spirit. They shall repent what they’ve done before the Lord strike them with something (chaos, judgement… )

Lord, may your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

postponing….

Psych stuffs, Sore spots, Spirituality

I’m not sure if “postponing” is even a right form of word. I mean I have been setting the application aside. I must admit, I’m too afraid to fail. I’m afraid of rejection of entering the program. I’m afraid if I’m accepted, I won’t be able to finish all the assignments. I’m afraid even if I can finish all the assignment, my grades won’t be good enough for me to pursue my master degree in the future. I’m afraid I can’t find a job after I finish the program. I’m afraid…. too many things…. that actually stops me from writing the application.

How silly… or I dunno….

Writing it all down, I can see I’m always fear driven. Where’s my hope? Why am I not driven by hope or anything positive? Why don’t I see the bright side of this world? I always see the dark, maybe I’m drawn to the dark…. Can I ask God to help me to see there’s hope at the end of the tunnel? Can I ask him to show me the way and help me to stay on it? Can I ask him to give me strength to walk on the path that he desires for me? Can my spirit be stronger so that I can walk on for God? Can I ask him to shine his light upon me so that dark will flee away? Can I not be afraid to think what other people think of me, and just focus what God think? Can I have a stronger desire to read his word. Can I have the determination to be a self-discipline person? Can I have desire to be self-control in everything that I do? Can I…..

one of those days

Sore spots, Spirituality

That was one of those days I became sad and depressed. Negative thought was rushing in my mind like a tornado, I could only go down with it. Sometimes I wonder where is God in all these? I didn’t doubt His existence, but I’m wondering what He’s thinking? We’ve been missing in action, church wise …. What does He think of us? I really don’t know anymore….

You are here

Spirituality

Father God you are my breath of life, you are worthy of all the worship and praise.

Life is in your hands, life is from you, life is within you, life is formed around you.

You give hope, you give joy, you give assurance, you give peace.

You are the light in the darkness, You are the guidance of life journey, You are in control in every aspect of my life.

Even when my life is still, when I feel there is no spiritual growth, or personal growth, You are here with me.

Every moments, every steps I take, You know me full well and You know where I am going.

My heart longs for a deeper connection with You.

My soul seeks for the contentment in Your presence.

My lips are made to praise You.

My mind is made to think of heavenly things.

My heart is captured by Your everlasting love.

Praise You in the morning. Praise You in the evening. Praise You in every moments, highs and lows.

I believe, I choose to believe,You watch over us, here with us, take care of us, guide us, walk with us, discipline us, instruct us, teach us to walk in Your way.

Thank you Heavenly Father for having patience with us.

Thankful

Spirituality

Thank you Lord for all your provision, we are rich even when we feel poor.

Thank you Lord for who we are in Christ, You put us in our families.

Thank you Lord for guiding us, You are with us even though we feel lost sometimes.

Thank you Lord for Your Holy Spirit in us, sometimes that tiny little whisper awaken our soul.

Thank you Lord for yesterday, today, and tomorrow, You renew us even when I feel like I’m getting older every single day.

Thank you Lord for my Husband unconditional love, it is Your love in us and draw us closer to each other.

Thank you Lord~ Blessings upon blessings. Your love is everlasting. Your grace is enough for us.