All posts by Miso

Sunday service

Spirituality

I was quiet down before the Lord during worship. I was enjoying the moment with the Lord. All of the sudden, the word of the Lord came to me. I didn’t expect to receive such message and I was surprised. It has been a while that I thought of the elders, the Jung’s. The Lord told me that the judgement has come upon them even when they’re on earth. Even the young and the old will be judge and they will see all the deeds they’ve done onto others. The Lord will bring judgement on their heart and spirit. They shall repent what they’ve done before the Lord strike them with something (chaos, judgement… )

Lord, may your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

或者

Uncategorized

或者我唔係呢個世界上 會對任何人都少一分痛苦。 我唔知我係呢個世界上有咩用， 我只覺得我無用。係， 我好自私，只想人地明白我， 鼓勵我，關心我。我覺得我身體無力，咩都做唔到呀！ 有無人明呀！

postponing….

Psych stuffs, Sore spots, Spirituality

I’m not sure if “postponing” is even a right form of word. I mean I have been setting the application aside. I must admit, I’m too afraid to fail. I’m afraid of rejection of entering the program. I’m afraid if I’m accepted, I won’t be able to finish all the assignments. I’m afraid even if I can finish all the assignment, my grades won’t be good enough for me to pursue my master degree in the future. I’m afraid I can’t find a job after I finish the program. I’m afraid…. too many things…. that actually stops me from writing the application.

How silly… or I dunno….

Writing it all down, I can see I’m always fear driven. Where’s my hope? Why am I not driven by hope or anything positive? Why don’t I see the bright side of this world? I always see the dark, maybe I’m drawn to the dark…. Can I ask God to help me to see there’s hope at the end of the tunnel? Can I ask him to show me the way and help me to stay on it? Can I ask him to give me strength to walk on the path that he desires for me? Can my spirit be stronger so that I can walk on for God? Can I ask him to shine his light upon me so that dark will flee away? Can I not be afraid to think what other people think of me, and just focus what God think? Can I have a stronger desire to read his word. Can I have the determination to be a self-discipline person? Can I have desire to be self-control in everything that I do? Can I…..

6 mo 1 wk

Fun stuffs, Journey to our home

Today Oki is 6 Mo and 1wk old since his birthday. Also marks today as he is home 3 mo already. He hasn’t grown a lot lately, I can only notice he grow longer but not taller. He is a joy to us although sometimes he can be very naughty.

Every time I look at him, I notice his sparkling eyes as if he wants to tell me something. Probably something like ” can I have more treats please!” =P Joking aside, when I look into his eyes I see loyalty. Though, I trained him to look at me whenever I give him treat or meal, his eyes tell me how much he trust me. It is every time he looks me in the eye, he trust that I won’t tease him but give him what he wants because he followed the command.

This little creature is growing bigger and probably taking more space in our hearts. He is a good doggy, I hope I know how to train him to be a more gentle and calm when meeting strangers.

7 Mar 2012 – 不一樣的糖果

Union in Christ

You were nice to me then. You are nice to me now. I love you and you love me even more. I cried because God blessed me with the greatest man on earth. I love you hubby and I will always love you!

從小我就知道我跟別人不一樣，我動作比較慢，反應比較慢，成績比較差，腦筋比較不靈活。在學校我成績排名總是倒數的那幾個。在父母眼中我是笨笨的，不聰明，或者是太懶散。從小學到中學我的成績總是剛好讓我過關。讀大學時的我更是覺得學業讓我無法招架。

我也不知道為什麼掙扎了這麼多年之後我還要讀神學院。到今天我還是覺得我很笨，不聰明，動作／反應慢，成績差。昨天媽媽的話，對這個年過三十的我還是帶來一點傷害。說到下個月便要考試了….她說，”真不知道你行不行啊！“ 我的反應當然是，你怎麼這樣懷疑我呢？ 她說，“我是說事實，你從小讀書就不行啊！你看你大學也讀了這麼久”。我的心情整個掉下去了，反正她覺得是這樣就這樣吧～我不想跟她辯….. 也沒有心情跟她繼續講下去。

晚上看到他，跟他說媽媽這樣的反應……. 我的心情也很不好。飯後，我們去逛 Walmart，看到巧克力的我 眼睛突然一亮。可是家裡巧克力真的有點多，也曾經跟他說過要阻止我再買了～ 但是，今天他拿著那包巧克力說要買來獎勵我presentation 拿到 A- 。我的眼淚又不受控制要掉下來….. 告訴他我從小成績很差，從來沒有人說要這樣獎勵我的。

雖然只是巧克力，卻讓我深深感受到他的愛和接納 是在家裡找不到的。其實，就算是他告訴我我很能幹，很懂得處事, 等等的讚美….. 我還是很懷疑的…… 因為這些都不是我從小聽過的～

我要學習接受讚美！我要學習接納自己！看到自己的好～

Application

Dream|Journey, Psych stuffs

I’ve been writing my application for counselling program at PLBC in the last few days. Still, I haven’t finished it yet. I know I always said that I don’t have friends, but I have a few friends though. I think it’s good enough? They are very supportive when I say I’m going to study for counselling.

I can do it ! I can do it! I can do it!

 

 

4mo 3wks

Fun stuffs, Life stuffs

I kind of understand what Ceaser said when you pull the leash tight that actually made your dog more excited. Postman rang the bell around noon when Oki was napping in the tv room. I didn’t bother to wake up Oki and pull him on the leash while opening the door. So I just walked and opened the door, and talked to the postman. Oki slowly walked over, swagging his tail but wasn’t overly excited. I then held on to his leash, but not pulling. He was standing at the door looking at the postman. By the time we ended our conversation, Oki was just sniffing, swagging his tail, didn’t bark or jump. I wonder if there’s anything I did differently this time, which didn’t make him overly excited… ummm… very interesting

 

Two months

Journey to our home, Life stuffs

Oki has been with us for two months, I can’t believe how time flies and he is such a big boy now! The Rooba has been coming out to do its job, I’m looking at Oki with amaze of how he’s doing well with it roaming around. He is in his pen, observing but didn’t make any sound or shows fear. Although, I’m mad with him biting sometimes, he is still a good puppy. Our puppy that significant to my marriage, my relationship with Hunny. We share a lot of the “first time”, and having Oki is part of it.

one of those days

Sore spots, Spirituality

That was one of those days I became sad and depressed. Negative thought was rushing in my mind like a tornado, I could only go down with it. Sometimes I wonder where is God in all these? I didn’t doubt His existence, but I’m wondering what He’s thinking? We’ve been missing in action, church wise …. What does He think of us? I really don’t know anymore….

A month has passed

Fun stuffs, Life stuffs

Oki is home a little more than a month now, I think he’s adapting well. We missed his second booster shot and third is also due already. He’ll be meeting the vet this Sat, hopefully we’ll have a good time. Lately, the weather is getting better, more light and more sunshine, Oki just wants to get out. We’ve been training him to use the potty bell, but seems like he rings it whenever he wants to go out there sniff around. At least there’s no accident after the first two weeks. I’ve been consistent taking him out for potty and only let him out after potty.

I tried not to lose my temper with him, it’s getting a little better especially I let him follow me around. He’s still a puppy though, he still nips at us sometimes. I hope to take him out for walk after he gets all the booster shots. I know he’ll be happy to get out there to explore the world 🙂