I went to see Elly for interview this morning. I must say I was grumpy and nervous since I got up. Getting into the program or not, I was feeling stressful because I need to talk to someone one on one. It was all the negative thoughts that played in my head… “I wonder if I looked stupid? Maybe I sound dumb… or….” I tried to judge myself before anyone judge me, so that I’ll prepare for the worst. Obviously, I overstressed myself with all these judgment in my head. Maybe I should learn how to make peace with my inner voice.

During the interview, I needed to answer few questions. Overall the interview is casual, it shouldn’t be a stressful event. We talked about my two bachelor degrees, how I was going to do with those degrees. I stated that I was hurt at church and I didn’t want to do anything with church anymore. She told me that Christians or not, we are all humans and human make mistakes. When we talked about emotional support, hubby is my number one support. Since I don’t trust anyone, and I don’t go to friends to talk about my issues, I often feel stressful myself. Elly asked me how do I draw the perimeter when trusting someone. I said it was a good question and I’ve never thought of that before. I guess I just trust or not trust base on feeling or my so-called “intuition”. I’m not sure….

Later on we talked about applying A.U.G funding. I asked do I need to have that approved first in order to get into the program. What if I paid first to save the seat, and then apply for AUG? She said I asked a good question, which she wasn’t sure about. But she made sure that I was okay with paying first. I said I’m not too worried about the funding, I just want to make sure that I’m in the program. She smiled and said, “You really want to get in huh?” So she walked me to the enrolment centre and asked Norma to help me with the AUG funding, as well as start the registration process. When Elly left, she congratulates me for getting into the program and she said she will see me next Tuesday.

So I am in!!! I didn’t think it’ll be easy and I don’t think it was easy. But I definitely want to show her that I wanted to be there. I want a change and I need a change. As for replacement, there’ll be a person who will arrange the replacement for me, but I need to contact them. As the semester goes on, she will explain it more. It’ll be about 20 hours, or 3 days a week for two weeks in a month period.