Yesterday I felt defeated again. I felt that I wasn’t smart enough, good enough, to say what I want to say. I hate, HATE, group project. I dislike meeting in a group because I know I don’t have anything to say. And people either try to help me, or encourage me to talk…. I have nothing to say. HATE! HATE! HATE!!! group work. I felt like I would never prepare enough to say anything meaningful, helpful, resourceful to the group.

I felt defeated, to have this feeling I’ll never good enough for anybody, or anyone.

I felt defeated, to feel I’m not smart or knowledgable.

I felt defeated, when I feel my body continues to fail me, when I wanted to study but I’m too tired to concentrate.

I felt defeated, even when I tried to listen during group meeting, all my mind was thinking I felt sick and get me out of there.

I felt defeated, and I know He is listening but I’m not listening to him.