I met Miss E today and we talked for almost 2 hours through our breakfast time. After our talk, I got a better idea of what’s going on in the L’s family. I’m a little surprised to hear some of the stuffs that happened. As much as I wanted to help, it’s really family business we’re talking about. I’m not sure if I wanna get into someone’s family matter. Yet, it’ll be in my prayers.
Monthly Archives: August 2016
唔開心
I don’t really know what happened this morning. I think I was confused. At one point I asked if hunny wanted coffee and breakie and she said yes. I made breakfast and all of a sudden hunny was unhappy. I found out that her lower back was hurting but somehow the conversation turned into how I go into work late in the morning. Later she explained that she thought I had class so it would be better if I went to work earlier and would get home earlier. I have clarified that I don’t have a class tonight. Then that conversation has remained stuck in taking about me going into work late.
Then I was going to write to Mr. N to let him know I wasn’t coming into work so I could be with hunny and go to see Florie with her. She wouldn’t let me.
I am still confused. I think I have been trying to make an effort to not be a workaholic. Hunny wasn’t happy about me having to lock up once in a while. I know I don’t have to, and I can probably leave at 4:45 everyday to avoid having to lock up, but isn’t that taking it to an extreme? I don’t understand why locking up once in a while is a problem… It’s just a part of being an office staff.
But then again, may be I am upset because I can’t find a balance between the two. I don’t want to be an absent husband, and I don’t want to be a workaholic. I pray that God can help me find the balance.
the forgotten one
Yesterday I was supposed to meet Miss K and Miss A in Miss L’s place. It was toward 5pm and I didn’t really want to go because I wasn’t feeling well. I had decided to go nonetheless because I wanted to try to connect with people. Hunny was almost home to pick me up to go there, I was all ready… except it was 5pm already so I texted Miss K that I would be late. It turned out they cancelled the dinner, and again…. I wasn’t informed
Talking about the forgotten one, I wonder why it is me… I wouldn’t say “always”, but it happened before. I have a pretty good guess now and I think I figure it out somehow. Probably I’m not weighted as important as other people, not gonna compare but I think it’s just a fact. I found myself this time more at ease in heart, somehow I kinda expected.
God certainly will never forget me, I’m sure… very sure because He love is greater than anything/anyone.
dream….
So I have dreams again lately, and last night was about Mr. C & Miss W. I saw that I was in Hunny’s car and they were beside me. They were riding on a motorcycle and Miss W came by my window to say hi. The red light was gone and green light came on, so we were about moving. Indeed we were moving but Miss W didn’t let go off our car window. Meanwhile I saw Mr. C was getting anxious to go and kept asking Miss W to go back. He was about getting roll as we were also slowly going…. all the sudden Mr. C fell off his bike; however, Miss W was only watching and didn’t go over to help him up. I was puzzled in my dream as of why didn’t Miss W show any care when her husband fell on the ground… I should discuss with Hunny later.
signing papers
we met Mr.R today to sign the bank paper. The mortgage is officially approved and done as we signed those papers. yay~
meeting Miss K
I went to visit Miss K today and we talked a lot of different stuffs. I told her that I appreciated how she didn’t give up on me and continue to contact me. We gave each other our life updates and I expressed my grudges which occurs after the incident. Where at last BBQ I invited myself to go but no one informed me the time… and her initial response when I invited myself…. anyways… it’s all good now
有些事
有些事心裡明白了，心情也釋放了。想起過去有一個人，一次又一次沒有把我包括在她的活動中。現在我明白我其實已經被放在好朋友的圈子外。也許現在不是難過 而是覺得心情釋放了。我不用在想要怎樣維持一個不現實的關係。
真心覺得年紀大了 就會多想。就算是昨天好像已經把話說開，我覺得關係中還是由疙瘩。或許是我自己無法像以前一樣地天真，那麼多的包容 忍耐。我變了…. 但不是我想要的 我。
Meeting up old friend
Hubby decided to contact Miss L for me. We met today at lunch and had a long chat. I felt that we definitely clear things up, but I wonder if this will last long. I mean I’m still a little guilty not inviting her to our wedding. We did talked about it… but… I dunno.
I told her everything that I experienced in that place, and she expressed that she understood being that she worked there for more than a decade. She also told me how much she appreciated Hubby and I had done in that place. I mean…. it’s nice to literally hear that from someone saying it.
I felt relief that I can tell someone, or Miss L what I went through there. I don’t need to hide it (my feelings, resentment, all that…) anymore in being afraid I’m judging those elders.
I’m thankful for the Lord is among us!
I pray for God’s healing upon my body and my mind, amen.
ups and downs
There are times I feel that my physical and psychological condition are going ups and downs. Maybe it’s this monthly time again, I feel very emotional these two days. I feel a little depressed and I’m not sleeping well. I guess doing some exercise will help my sleep at night….
Will I ever get better and be normal again? I’m not sure if I ever know what normal is….
dreams – Bible stories
I dreamt of talking to an elderly women who seems to be a missionary and other pastor around in the same room. We had a conversation on how much I know the Bible stories. I told her I remember 登山變像 and Peter’s fisherman of men… there’s supposedly one more story, but I forgot when I got up…
Very interesting … maybe time to read the Bible again?