May 21-23
三天兩夜 Canmore Trip
過去兩星期，大家忙來忙去的。 Patricia & Stanley 回去馬來西亞，我們要照顧Chris。 加上去Dr.Deeks 家照顧 Chesles，Sophie。 Hubby 跟我都沒有睡好，可是我們臨時決定去Canmore 兩三天。
雖然要開十個鐘頭的車程，但卻覺得充滿了電～
算是慶祝我們一起五年 ^___^ yay！✌️
Monthly Archives: May 2016
To be home again
I dreamed of screaming and crying like an infant that only wants acceptance and love. The feeling of relief and freedom of crying out loud in this dream is something that I want for in the reality. If only I am brave enough to allow myself crying without worrying what other think of me. How sad… how oppress… of these feelings trapped inside of me.
Why do I often feel rejected? Why do I often feel like I don’t belong here (anywhere)? The fear of being rejected kept me away from people. I found myself intentionally walking away from friends because I want to see if I’m worthy for anyone to pursue for friendship. Yet, I know that I want to be pursued but I don’t want to commit in a friendship.
Early in my teenage years to my early twenty’s, people came and gone in my life. The heart breaking of people leaving due to various reasons. I once thought I found my group of friend… maybe they never meant to stay….
I can only say that I know this loneliness is not to be filled by human. I recognize the earth is not my home, being with God is home.
I just want to be home again.
We are human
We are as awkward as we could be, and so does everyone being awkward in their own ways. None of us is perfect, nor do we all normal as we thought. We are all unique and awkward. Humanity is showing us how imperfect we are. We are just human.
Yes/No
Every time when Peter saw me early in church, he would always tell me that he didn’t know what he was doing. Today, he said the same thing, and jokingly asked me to speak today. “Me? You want me to speak?”, I replied in a worried voice tone. He said, “yah, as long as you have God’s word, you do have God’s word right?”
Of course, I know he was joking… yet again, it got me to think if I really have anything to say. I hate public speaking with all my heart. My heart will pound like crazy, my head will spin like I’m going to win a wheel of fortune, my throat will get dry…. anything that shouldn’t be happening will happen once I get in front of people, it doesn’t matter how many people too!
So yes, I might have the word of God in me, something I can share. However, it’s not time yet…. I don’t know if there will ever be time…. to preach…. just saying…. I’m still very much interested in studying theology.